my cheerleader

I already sent my computer to slumberland, really didn't think I'd switch it on again.
Or that I needed this verbal release.

It's been an emotinally draining day, I didn't have to do much brain work yet there were so many things that needed to be straightened out, discussed, rationalized, understood - it really took the wind out of me. The toughest part was to except that the impending loss (with a shred of hope to salvage) isn't even our fault.

Three and a half years of sweat, blood and toil comes to this. I recognize it might be a change of seasons, a time to move on, to climb bigger mountains. But today, it was just too hard, harder that I had to stay tough for them, because they needed to see me pulled together - the encourager, the calm, the rational. If the chirpy and most-often optimistic one turned introvert, things would take on for the worst. No, they needed their cheerleader.

I compartmentalized and tucked it away.

I came home with this heavy heart of mine, tried to let the usual bubbly self out but to no avail. I thought the food would help and it did for awhile, but then, I'm back there now.

......

On any other given day, I'd be perfectly happy being the cheerleader, but just for now, just for this hour or even the next 5 min....could someone just take over....just for awhile....and be my cheerleader?

I just need you to be my encourager, my iron, my edifier for 5 min...that's all I ask and I promise I'll take on my normal character again.

please...